Food poisoning again.

I’ve been stuck in my room for the past 5 days and I’m about to lose my mind.  So, I’ve had time to come up with two theories;

1.  Nepal is in fact trying to kill me.  The operatives that poisoned me on the way to Everest Base Camp failed, so someone infiltrated my guest house in Kathmandu and poisoned my Chicken Mo Mo several days ago.  To combat this I’ve sworn off all foods that don’t come sealed in plastic or a can.

2.  Nepal believes I’ve gotten a little overweight after 8 months of drinking beer and eating everything I want, so put me on a genius weight loss program!

Step One – Eat bad meat.
Step Two – Skinny!

They’re some ugly steps in the middle, but it works!  Zero exercise or self control needed and I’ve watched the lbs scarily vanish in days!

I hear stories about people traveling around the world and having life changing epiphanies then moving home and making billions.  Steve Jobs, acid in India, 10.2 Billion. John Paulson, uncles apartment South America, 12.5 Billion.

Well I think this is my idea.  Carl’s two step weight loss program!

For those of you asking yourself, “Did Carl really take a picture of himself shirtless in his guest house then post it online?”  The answers is; Yes.  I’ve been stuck in a room for 5 days with nothing to do and no internet, so be happy it didn’t get weirder.

I’m losing it!

I would tell you where I’m going next, but the operatives… you understand.