This is long and I watched it twice. It’s absolutely hysterical! Not even going to explain it, just watch;
All posts by Carl (Your Sherpa)
Soothing Sounds Of A Hostel
I still have to repeat this with 30 second intervals of choking along with, a guy trying to convince a girl ‘they can have sex because everyones asleep’, a laughing girl, a touch of bass, doors slamming and you will soothingly be kept awake for hours! CD’s in stores soon. Get yours before they’re gone!
Travel Mistake #1
Trusting someone else to book an important ticket.
I’ll try to make this short and not rant.
Some of the cheapest transportation can only be booked on non-english websites, so it requires help. I grappled with the decision to fly to Kiev or take a train over the cost. The train would take much longer but save a little money. Feeling sick, tired and in dire need to move to warmer climate quickly, I opted for the flight.
I had to trust a girl working at the hostel to book my ticket.
She booked me to the wrong city.
The flight ended up costing more than I was told and more than my entire stay at the hostel. I didn’t catch the mistake because Gmail blocked the ticket until hours before my flight and the cities are spelt different in Polish. I first realized the mistake when I heard the city announced over boarding call.
So, I traveled less than half the distance to where I needed to go at 8x the cost of a train.
At this point I don’t know if I should be pissed, cry, or just be appreciative that she was willing to help. What I do know is this trip is costing me $135 dollars more than the train alone and taking me 16 hours longer than the correct flight… (it’s even 4 hours longer that if I took a train the whole way).
On second thought, I’ll go with pissed.
Editors note: It’s a good thing I re-wrote this after I cooled down. The original post was just four letters with a bunch of exclamation points… k.
Rules Are Meant To Be Broken…
Hostel Rule #4
“No external guest are allowed in the hostel area. This is because they are all notorious vagabonds who steal everything you own. Possibly. Plus you’re probably being a slut, and your mother wouldn’t approve, you dirty dog. May crabs strike you down… (Fines)”
Dazed and Confused…
The race against winter has officially been lost. It’s snowing in Krakow and I own a full wardrobe of winter clothes. I’ve been decommissioned with a second cold which has slowed filming, blogging and traveling to a crawl. BUT, the show must go on, so here’s the plan;
I fly to Kiev, Ukraine on Thursday. From Kiev, I work on my Chinese Visa and flight to Asia. After the administerial stuff is done; I explore. Hopefully see Chernobyl, maybe visit Odessa (Although, I heard Odessa is only good for cheap beer and hot chicks. So, I might skip it……) and a few other stops.
Once I get my Ukraine fill; Asia. My goal is Northern China then work my way south. I’ll then bounce through Southeast Asia (Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, India, Nepal, etc.), which because of the weather, couldn’t be more enticing. Asia is also where filming gets kicked up a notch, so get phsyced!
From here (Croatia):
To here (Poland):
Why!!? Only three weeks apart.
Story From Troy, Australia – “Trust”
Met Troy at the Hostel in Krakow. He read me the story from his buddy. True, Not, who cares… it’s funny.
“My girlfriend invited me to her house where I found her sister alone. So I sat there waiting for my girlfriend while her unbelievably sexy sister was sitting there with me. A few moments go by, then she comes up next to me, and whispers in my ear ‘we should have sex before my sister comes home’. I immediately got up and turned around to walk to my car. I found my girlfriend standing by the door, at which point she hugged me and said ‘you’ve won my trust’. The moral of the story, always keep your condoms in your car.”
Tear In The Pack, Story By Scott – “From Russia With Love”
Another longer story but worth it!
“Back in July of 2009, I took three weeks off from work and flew into Moscow to do a trip around European Russia along with the Baltic States. It was my first night in Moscow and I headed to a bar that the hotel recommended. After arriving at the establishment, I immediately walked up to the bar and ordered a drink. There was an attractive looking girl standing next to me as I waited for my vodka and seven. She was definitely Russian judging by her Slavic features and the way she dressed along with her stiletto heels.
“Kak dela?” I asked.
“I am fine. Spasiba. I speak some English. You don’t have speak Russian to me.”
The Russian girl was gorgeous and friendly. Her name was Katya and I was trying to figure out if she was being a little too nice. It was my first night in Russia and I had heard that prostitution was common. After talking to her for a few minutes at the bar I decided she wasn’t a prostitute and asked her to come sit down with me at a table.
Over the next couple hours, we talked, she told me all about her city, we kicked back some shots of vodka, got a taxi and headed for the nearest hotel. The hotel was next to the Russian Cosmonaut memorial in north Moscow. After checking in to the hotel room, she gave me a very pleasant Russian welcome… for about three hours.
We woke up sometime in the morning, and I had no idea what time it was. The Russian summer and its white nights were not helping me or my Circadian rhythm. I was starving so we headed across the street to a café for a quick bite to eat. She told me more about her country and I almost choked on my food when she asked with a very serious face,
“Can you give some money because I was your guide.”
“What!?, no, you don’t talk business after the fact.” I replied, as I was waving for the waiter to bring me the check.
“But, I tell you about my country and show you good time.”
“Yes, but you had just as good a time as me, I bought you drinks, paid for a nice hotel room, bought you breakfast. And you know what, not once did you say spasiba or thank you.”
I promptly paid my tab, told her good luck, and left. She was right behind me. I walked into the nearest metro entrance. I turned to her, “Look, if you are going the same direction as me, fine, but don’t expect me to give you any money.” She didn’t say anything.
I got on the train going to Mayakovskaya station and she wouldn’t let a foot come between us. “You can’t give me maybe 1000 rubles(30 dollars)?”
It wasn’t the money that was the issue, it was the principle. “No, you need to quit following me right now.” I didn’t want to make a scene because there were people around but I was getting very agitated.
“But this is how we do things in Russia.”
“I am not stupid, you don’t conduct business like that in Russia.”
The doors opened at Mayakovskaya station and I got out real fast, she was right there with me. I was rather impressed how fast she could walk in her tall heels. We got on the escalator going up to the street and I made a break for it. Unfortunately, she grabbed a handful of my shirt as I took a fast step forward. I could have easily pulled her with me or swatted her hand away but only with hundreds of Russians witnessing the act. I was in a tight spot. The last thing I needed was for a 30 dollar hooker following me around on my first full day in Russia. Lonely planet didn’t say anything about this in their guide book.
We walked through the metro exit onto the street, and I could have turned right towards my hostel but I didn’t want her anywhere near there, so I kept walking straight. I was outright pissed at this point. This had to end and by no means was I going to pay her anything. “If you don’t leave me alone I am going to literally run away from you!” I was pretty confident she couldn’t keep up with me in her heels. Keep in mind that it was broad daylight, we were in downtown Moscow, and thousands of Muscovites were going about their daily routine.
She laughed, “I would like to see you run away from me with everyone around.”
A few minutes passed, she was still there, and I started running. “Have a good life!” I ran to the end of the block and turned right, I snaked my way around a few blocks and headed in the general direction of my hostel. I can’t imagine what the Russians were thinking as they saw an obvious American running through the streets midday. Maybe they wondered what I thought of the tour…
If You Say So…
Up To Speed
After Estonia I decided to skip Lithuania and shoot straight into Poland. Krakow seems to be everyone’s favorite spot, but I don’t like doubling down on places I’ve visited. So, I decided to shoot over to Warsaw (Which was low on the popular list) then into Wroclaw and visit a couple of great people, Hanna and Michal. I saw Wroclaw as a good opportunity to get some rest… However, trying keep up with Michal, I found my self drinking vodka by the bottle, followed by 6am wakeup calls by the resident 2 year old.
Now I’m in Krakow logging some serious sleep and getting recharged for the push through Ukraine followed by China, granted I obtain a visa. For the visa I’ll need to hit the Chinese embassy in Ukraine and if that fails try again in Hong Kong.
A little of Krakow,
WARSAW TO WROCLAW, POLAND – KARMA
Leaving Warsaw I was pissed to discover some tall ugly dude cooking our food in the kitchen and we had just gone shopping for ingredients based on what we had leftover in the fridge (clearly labeled). He looked suspicious and was cooking in the dark when I confronted him asking where he got the eggs, “Marr-ket…”. With no evidence I had to settle with snide remarks under my breath until I realized his eggs shells had the same serial number as our empty carton. I was pissed! Not because he took our food, but because people around the world fantasize about the day they catch the asshole who steals from the common room fridge and I caught him red handed and there was nothing I could do but lecture him as he shook his head “I, no stand…”.
All we could settle with is karma comes full circle. Few hours later trying to catch a train, a polish kid ran with us to help us find our connection in time despite arriving to his destination. On the right train but hungry, a polish women gave us a sandwich and cookies and wouldn’t take no for an answer. So on the right train with a full stomach I think back to that jerk who stole our food but in the end got kicked to the street. Karma.